Reality check

This past weekend, I experienced what [initially] felt to be a setback on my path of responsible frugality. Collecting my things at the close of a party on Friday night, I realized my digital camera had vanished. After some searching — which involved crawling on sticky, booze-stained floors — I sucked it up as a loss. 

The incident dominated my thoughts for much of the first part of the weekend. I just couldn’t shake my anger. I felt especially frustrated by the timing of the loss: in 5 days I depart on a highly anticipated trip to an aesthetic heaven that begs to be photographed. 

I found myself feeling that all my efforts are in vain — a waste; that no matter how hard I try to do good, to be frugal and make responsible choices, to be a friend to all people and things, that there will always be something that “gets in the way.” There will always be theft and greed. I thought again of the 4 bikes I’ve had stolen. I felt depressed for believing the phrase “you can’t trust anyone.” Yes, I cried. 

By Saturday mid-day, I knew I did not want to feel angry, bitter, or vengeful any longer. So, right then and there, I made the choice not to be. With a bit of effort, I shifted my consciousness. Just like that! … I realized my efforts are not in vain. I realized I don’t try to live responsibly and sustainably just for myself – but for the world and for others. I realized I was angry about a little gadget, and that nothing terrible had happened. I felt sad for those who feel they need to steal. I remembered the law of karma. 

Instead of languishing, I used the experience as a reminder of how lucky I am for all I do have. I remembered that I am going to Guatemala not to take pictures with a camera, but to immerse myself in an adventure so grand that I will come away with mental pictures to last forever. And today, I laid in the park for hours and stared at the beauty of the sky and trees and realized that I live a life of abundance just by being alive … that I don’t need “stuff” to make it worthwhile.

At the close of my weekend, I feel more grateful for the things I have; for the ability to make memories, and to take trips. I feel newly reminded that life is full of surprises, but that these are not “setbacks,” just reminders that most events are out of our control. I feel better ready to be budget-conscious with a good attitude this coming week. (P.S. I agreed to sub an extra yoga class and even made an appointment to consign clothes.) I feel blessed that I am about to embark on a trip. In essence, I feel as rich as ever  

Increase your joy by actively doing the good you wish to have done to you. Decrease your suffering by refusing to do the bad that has been done to you. — Daisaku Ikeda

More valuable than treasures in a storehouse are the treasures of the body, and the treasures of the heart are the most valuable of all. — Nichiren